It’s inevitable...if we choose to be in a relationships with others, then sometimes we are going to find ourselves in situations where we feel angry or offended. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are all guilty of causing others pain. As Christians, it is our responsibility to resolve conflicts quickly in order to heal relationships and move forward. Unfortunately, when it comes to resolving our anger, we can react out of anger instead and find ourselves in greater conflict than before.

If you find yourself feeling offended or angry, take some time to consider the situation. Pray for clarity and check your heart to honestly consider what is causing your anger. Once you find the clarity you need to address the problem level-headedly, seek out the person that has angered you and attempt to resolve the issue. Be authentic and honest with the person using these three steps as a guide:

1) Share What Happened

This will allow you both to align your perceptions and identify whether there is a problem to resolve or if it was a simple miscommunication. Either way, you will free yourself from the temptation of holding a grudge and offer the other person the chance to provide clarity. It is very possible the person is unaware he or she has offended you, so give the benefit of the doubt and initiate a conversation, free of accusation and full of grace.

2) Share How You Feel

Even if the situation turns out to be a simple miscommunication, you are still human, and feelings can be hurt even without bad intentions. Allow yourself the freedom to explain how the situation made you feel. Be open, transparent, and honest--but careful not to let your emotions get away from you.

3) Share What You Need 

The most overlooked step in resolving anger is sharing what you need to move past your anger. While sharing how you feel may help you feel better in the moment, it will not resolve the issue or prevent it from happening again. If there is something that you need in order to move forward in the relationship, share it! Allow the other person to do the same, and you are one step closer to creating unity in your relationship.

Unfortunately, this three-step approach cannot guarantee to fix every situation because you cannot control how the other person will react. It will, however, help you deal with your anger in a positive and healthy way that will lead you one step closer to a healthy relationship again.

God bless, and have a great weekend!
Shawn Maguire