Licensed Family Therapist in OKC

Fear of God Brings Gratitude

Have you ever wondered about the Bible verse in Proverbs that says, “Fear the Lord?” What exactly does it mean? And why would fear ever lead me to feel gratitude?

God is the creator and designer of all things. If we remember how powerful He is and stay in awe of the miracle He performed on the cross to make us a part of His family forever, our only desire will be to please Him and honor Him. We won’t care about what people think of our life choices or our decisions because our priorities are seen through the lens of the cross, and our hearts can’t help but become full of gratitude.

If (or more likely when) we lose sight of the cross and of God’s work in our lives, God will become smaller in our minds, and we will instead see our priorities through the lenses of other people’s standards for us.

And we all know how impossible those standard can be!

The only way we know to impress each other in our culture is to buy more and more stuff to show how successful we are. Without realizing it, we fall into the trap of living only to one-up the Joneses. Whatever gratitude we may have experienced is instead replaced with envy and discontentment.

So how do we keep our eyes and our priorities fixed on God? We have to take actionable steps every single day to ensure that we never lose awe or fear for what Jesus did for us on the cross. When feelings of envy or jealousy start to creep in, ask yourself, “Did Jesus come off of His throne in Heaven and die a martyr’s death so that I could sit in jealousy of my neighbor’s new car?”

Of course the answer will be no. Asking yourself this question daily will keep you motivated to consider what He did make that sacrifice for and set your eyes on accomplishing the things worthy of that sacrifice--regardless of what others may think.

Here are some questions for you to consider as you start your weekend:

Have you found yourself envious of something or someone lately?
Who is the one person in your life you are trying to impress, whether you are consciously aware of it or not?
What can you do to reignite the awe you have for what God has done for you so your heart can be filled with gratitude again?

3 Steps to Resolve Anger

It’s inevitable…if we choose to be in a relationships with others, then sometimes we are going to find ourselves in situations where we feel angry or offended. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are all guilty of causing others pain. As Christians, it is our responsibility to resolve conflicts quickly in order to heal relationships and move forward.

It’s inevitable...if we choose to be in a relationships with others, then sometimes we are going to find ourselves in situations where we feel angry or offended. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, we are all guilty of causing others pain. As Christians, it is our responsibility to resolve conflicts quickly in order to heal relationships and move forward. Unfortunately, when it comes to resolving our anger, we can react out of anger instead and find ourselves in greater conflict than before.

If you find yourself feeling offended or angry, take some time to consider the situation. Pray for clarity and check your heart to honestly consider what is causing your anger. Once you find the clarity you need to address the problem level-headedly, seek out the person that has angered you and attempt to resolve the issue. Be authentic and honest with the person using these three steps as a guide:

1) Share What Happened

This will allow you both to align your perceptions and identify whether there is a problem to resolve or if it was a simple miscommunication. Either way, you will free yourself from the temptation of holding a grudge and offer the other person the chance to provide clarity. It is very possible the person is unaware he or she has offended you, so give the benefit of the doubt and initiate a conversation, free of accusation and full of grace.

2) Share How You Feel

Even if the situation turns out to be a simple miscommunication, you are still human, and feelings can be hurt even without bad intentions. Allow yourself the freedom to explain how the situation made you feel. Be open, transparent, and honest--but careful not to let your emotions get away from you.

3) Share What You Need

The most overlooked step in resolving anger is sharing what you need to move past your anger. While sharing how you feel may help you feel better in the moment, it will not resolve the issue or prevent it from happening again. If there is something that you need in order to move forward in the relationship, share it! Allow the other person to do the same, and you are one step closer to creating unity in your relationship.

Unfortunately, this three-step approach cannot guarantee to fix every situation because you cannot control how the other person will react. It will, however, help you deal with your anger in a positive and healthy way that will lead you one step closer to a healthy relationship again.

God bless, and have a great weekend!
Shawn Maguire

Your Comeback is way better then your set back

Have you ever felt taken out by a person or a circumstance and felt like all hope was lost? Maybe thats where you’re at today? This reminds me of a man in the Bible named Peter. Peter was the kind of guy who went all out for Jesus. He left his family and fishing career and was the guy who walked on water for at least a minute. Peter was rewarded by seeing miracles, being one of the 12 disciples and even an intimate part of Jesus’ most trusted inner circle of three. They ate together, traveled and ministered together and talked about issues like who would be the greatest. Peter’s dream of restoring Israel back to her former glory was happening and he was at the center of it all. He even told Jesus that even if everyone else deserted Him, he would not. For Peter, life was great.

And then Judas betrays Jesus and the life that he knows is jeopardized. But Peter is fierce and doesn’t go down without a fight. He brandishes his sword and defends his Jesus and the dream life he has been living. What happens next was the beginning of the end for Peter and the life he knew. Jesus tells Peter to put the sword away then heals the man Peter wounded. Soon after, the son of God who cast out demons and raised the dead was taken prisoner.

This was too much for Peter and he fled. He fled because everything he thought to be true had just been wrecked. Peter lingered at a distance and denied knowing Jesus three times as Jesus was being judged. He had lost his identity because his identity was in the dream of who he wanted Jesus to be and not who Jesus really was. And then Jesus was crucified and the finality of his loss was made certain. This was Peter’s darkest hour.

But then the resurrection and hope was restored! Jesus met up with Peter as the risen King. He then asked Peter 3 times “Do you love me?” The conversation reached the point where Peter was really hurt and said “You know I love you.” Jesus had to acknowledge the depth of shame and pain Peter felt in his failure and lost identity to prepare Peter to receive a new one. This would be Peter’s come back. Then Jesus said “go and feed my sheep”. This is the equivalent of Jesus saying your shame and failures do not disqualify you from your calling. I am validating you as a loved child of God who is qualified by what I have done. The focus has now shifted from Peter’s identity being in his beliefs and abilities to Jesus and who He says Peter is.

• How have you experienced a set back or felt like a failure?
• Pray and ask God to show you how he wants to take you from Set Back to Come Back?

Shawn Maguire is a Licensed Professional Counselor who has served marriages, families and individuals for almost 25 years. He is the owner of New Vision Counseling, a place where therapists integrate. their faith with cutting edge counseling techniques to offer hope and healing in any circumstance of life. You can find out more about Shawn and his team at NewVisionCounseling.org or follow him on facebook and Instagram at NewVisionCounseling