Motherhood- what they don’t tell you

The notion that motherhood is an unalloyed blessing is a pervasive one. However, it often comes to light that this perception doesn’t perfectly mirror the reality when one steps into the role personally.

Given the widespread belief that parenthood is universally joyful, being filled with comforting cuddles and sound sleep (since newborns are commonly thought to do nothing but sleep), it’s no surprise that reality can be somewhat jarring. Conventional wisdom says that toddlers are obedient little beings, ending their phrases with respectful terms like ‘yes ma’am’, ‘no ma’am’, but is it always so?

The truth is far from it. Instead, you find yourself perpetually drained, emotionally and physically. If you’re not being constantly pestered by a little one pulling at your clothing or persistently calling your name as you try to prepare a meal, you’re likely attending to another little soul who is reaching out for your care and attention. Coupled with the incessant noise from crying, screaming, and bickering, it’s quite an overwhelming scenario. And the mess? Let’s not even broach that topic. Simply put, if you were a stickler for cleanliness pre-motherhood, brace yourself for a heightened anxiety level or train yourself to let go of this obsession.

It’s certainly no surprise that many mothers across the globe are already at their wit’s end by 6:15 a.m. The pressure and exhaustion of motherhood can set in as early as ten minutes into the day. And somehow, despite our own depleted energies, we are expected to extend kindness and empathy to uplift our families. But, how can we possibly fulfill this when our personal energy reservoirs are running dry?

It’s undeniably disheartening when our ideals of motherhood and the stark daily realities of raising children don’t align. Moreover, when at day’s end you’ve reached the point of initiating rest, only to discover that sleep will be fleeting and broken, it can be devastating. Especially knowing that the meager sleep will have to be enough to fuel you for another challenging day ahead.

Know this: you are not alone in this ordeal.

As mothers, we are often plunged into this crucial role with bare minimum or even practically no training, yet we are expected not just to stay afloat, but to flourish. All this while we are still recovering from the physical and mental toll of childbirth, and adjusting to a drastically different life, stripped of the freedoms we once had.

Realize that it is perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed and defeated at times. It doesn’t make you a bad mother or a less kind-hearted person. The role you’re playing is incredibly challenging and chances are, you’re doing far better than you give yourself credit for. Go easy on yourself, and cherish this thought: Before you were formed in your mother’s womb, God knew you, and before your child was formed in your womb, He knew them too. He had appointed YOU specifically as your child’s caretaker.

If you, or someone you care for, is finding motherhood daunting, turn to us at New Vision Counseling and Consulting. Our empathetic therapists are here to assist you in maneuvering through this crucial phase of life where days might seem eternally long, but years astonishingly short. We strive to provide a refuge where you can freely express your vulnerabilities and receive effective care. Feel free to reach us at (405) 921-7776 to explore how we can best support and uplift you.

Embracing Motherhood: Finding Hope and Healing in Postpartum Depression

Welcome to a brand new adventure in your life-a journey into motherhood that promises to bring unimaginable joy. Yet, if you are feeling plagued by unanticipated feelings of melancholy, loneliness, or apprehension, know that you are not alone. The reality is that more than 80% of new mothers witness a mood change after giving birth, leaving them feeling disconnected, overwhelmed, or afraid. These sentiments are common and can even affect your interactions with those you love or your precious newborn, possibly stirring up feelings of unease and guilt.

Many mothers encounter these transient emotions that disappear over time. However, for some, these experiences of mood disruptions magnify into a more severe form, known as postpartum depression (PPD). Identifying this condition is the first stride towards recovery.

Blueprint to Conquer Postpartum Depression

Pause and Breathe: Amidst the chaos, allow yourself the luxury of taking a momentary break. This self-compassionate act can grant you the clarity to continue your journey with renewed purpose.

Embracing Motherhood

Engage with Peers: Establish connections with fellow mothers, be it in your local Oklahoma City community or through online support groups. This empathetic exchange can provide invaluable insights and guidance towards recovery.

Emphasize Self-Care: Always prioritize self-care – it is not an indulgence but a necessity. Balancing your diet, staying hydrated, and regular workouts can significantly impact your wellness and consequently your baby’s.

Validate Your Emotions: Recognize that motherhood is strenuous. Embracing the entirety of your emotions can foster healthier processing of these sentiments.

Rekindle Joy in Motherhood: Recount the reasons that drew you towards motherhood. Let the delightful moments reinvigorate your spirit and overshadow any negative thoughts.

Seek Assistance: Relying upon your friends and family is an excellent source of support and a testimony of your strength.

Professional Guidance: At times, personal endeavors and familial support may not suffice. New Vision Counseling and Consulting, based in Oklahoma City, provides therapists who are experts in tackling postpartum depression. Our attentive team is committed to navigating through these struggles, providing suitable strategies, motivation, and support.

At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we comprehend the complex nature of postpartum depression and its profound impact on your life and those around you. Our Oklahoma City-based sanctuary is designed for new mothers seeking help and healing. Our therapists are compassionate champions who aim to guide you back to happiness and enjoyment in motherhood.

Don’t let postpartum depression overshadow your motherhood experience. Dial (405) 921-7776 to book an appointment. Let us walk alongside you in your journey towards reclaiming the joy and satisfaction in these precious moments with your baby.

Your path to recovery begins today. We’re ready to walk with you, step by step.

What Does Anxiety Looks Like

Unquestionably, the term “anxiety” has been commonly heard before but truly understanding what it entails to experience this condition is a different matter. Anxiety generally manifests as a persistent feeling of worry or an unusually heightened sense of dread. While it’s entirely normal to feel worry or stress occasionally, classified anxiety disorder is differentiated as it significantly disrupts your everyday routine and lifestyle.

In fact, this isn’t an uncommon condition. The World Health Organization (WHO) places the number of global anxiety sufferers at approximately 1 in 13 people, this makes it the leading mental health issue globally. If you think you might be dealing with anxiety, there is some comfort in the knowledge that you’re not alone; there are also numerous clinically-proven treatments for dealing with anxiety.

The perception and manifestation of anxiety can differ significantly among individuals. However, certain symptoms are popularly seen among people experiencing generalized anxiety disorder (GAD):

Mental Symptoms include:

Persistent tension and irritability
A continued state of depression
Routine expectation of the worst outcomes
Constant worrying
The need for reassurance from others
Disassociation from reality (The perception of the world or situations being unreal)
Feeling disconnected from oneself

Physical Symptoms:

Frequent fainting spells or disorientation
Feeling too warm or excessive sweating
Elevated heart rate
Experiencing panic attacks
Digestive problems
Rapid breathing or hyperventilation
Nausea or stomach pain
Constant body aches
Chronic fatigue or weakness.
Sleep disturbances like insomnia
Changes in sexual desire

Understanding Your Specific Anxiety Type:

Anxiety comes in numerous forms and it’s crucial to pinpoint exactly what type you might be experiencing in order to correctly tackle and treat it.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder is widely considered as the most frequently encountered form of anxiety disorder and is typically what individuals associate with when they state they “have anxiety.” People enduring GAD typically grapple with worry and anxiety, even in the absence of stressful stimuli. Worst-case outlooks are often anticipated and controlling these pessimistic thoughts and emotions often proves challenging. GAD can be extremely detrimental to daily life as its inherent and boundless worry might render focusing on tasks or goals almost impossible, inhibit relationships, disrupt sleeping patterns and dietary habits, and hinder everyday tasks and responsibilities.

Social Anxiety is defined as an extreme fear of interacting in social circumstances and public speaking. Those with social anxiety often worry about becoming targets of ridicule, criticism, or judgement by others. Particularly stressful situations can involve interacting with new people or being in large crowd environments. Individuals with social anxiety might find it very daunting to meet new people, go on dates, give public speeches, initiate spontaneous conversations, or eat in public. Many might find such situations non-threatening, yet for a social anxiety sufferer, they could be overwhelmingly distressing.

Panic Disorder as the name suggests, is characterized by recurrent and unexpected panic attacks. Even if you’ve heard of panic attacks, it’s important to know that they can constitute part of a clinically diagnosable mental health disorder if recurrently experienced. Panic attacks can be terrifying events that can severely disrupt daily life. Associated symptoms might involve palpitations, uncontrollable trembling, hyperventilation, and a feeling of being disoriented. These symptoms can strike abruptly and induce overwhelming anxiety and intense fear. However frightening these episodes may be, remember that a panic attack in itself is not fatal.

Treatment:

Multi-pronged treatment approaches are often necessary for managing anxiety as every individual responds uniquely to various treatment methods. Therapy and medication are most commonly used for treating anxiety, though these are not the only solutions.

Therapy for Anxiety:

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is widely recognized as a very effective therapy and is often used for treating conditions of depression and anxiety. The objective is to identify and disrupt recurrent negative thought cycles, thereby initiating change in feelings, behaviors, and emotional state.

Applied Relaxation Therapy:

This therapeutic technique is effective for addressing the physical symptoms linked with anxiety by teaching how to recognize anxiety-triggering situations and apply muscle relaxation practices.

Anxiety Medications:

For some, therapy by itself might not offer sufficient relief. In such cases, medication could be an effective approach for those with severe symptoms or where therapeutic interventions haven’t led to notable improvement. Medication-based treatment duration can vary from short term (until symptoms reduce) to longer term, spanning several years. Considering that medication has a different effect on every individual and can also lead to a range of side effects, professional medical consultation is essential before starting or discontinuing any medication.

Having a good understanding of your own mental health and available treatment options is vital for effective self-care.

If you’re prepared to tackle your anxiety, we’re with you all the way! Our professional therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting, highly trained in helping manage anxiety, are here to assist you in overcoming your anxiety and creating the life you envision. Take the next step by calling us at (405) 921-7776. We’re looking forward to working with you and helping improve your mental health soon. We hope to meet you soon!

Choosing Shawn Maguire LPC as Your Marriage and Family Therapist in Oklahoma City

Are you in search of a skilled and compassionate marriage and family therapist in Oklahoma City? Look no further than Shawn Maguire LPC. With his extensive experience and dedication to helping individuals and families, Shawn Maguire LPC is the ideal choice for addressing your unique counseling needs. In this Google post, we delve into the reasons why you should consider Shawn Maguire LPC as your trusted therapist.

Shawn Maguire LPC

Expertise and Professionalism:

Shawn Maguire LPC brings a wealth of knowledge to the field of marriage and family therapy. He holds a master’s degree in Counseling Psychology and is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) in Oklahoma City. With his solid academic foundation and hands-on experience, Shawn Maguire LPC is equipped to tackle a broad range of marital and family-related challenges.

Holistic Approach:

One of the key factors that sets Shawn Maguire LPC apart is his holistic approach to therapy. He understands that every individual and family system is unique and that various factors influence their overall well-being. By considering the interplay of emotional, mental, and relational elements, Shawn helps his clients achieve lasting transformation and fulfilment.

Specialization in Marriage and Family Therapy:

Shawn Maguire LPC is particularly skilled in providing counseling services for couples and families. Whether you’re experiencing communication breakdowns, conflicts, parenting issues, or intimacy challenges, Shawn’s expertise can help you navigate these obstacles successfully. His therapeutic interventions are designed to strengthen relationships, improve communication, and promote harmonious family dynamics.

Culturally-Sensitive Practice:

Shawn Maguire LPC is committed to providing a safe and inclusive environment for all individuals and families seeking his services. He recognizes the importance of cultural diversity and strives to honor and respect the unique backgrounds and perspectives of his clients. This culturally-sensitive approach ensures that everyone feels understood and valued throughout the therapeutic process.

Trust and Confidentiality:

Establishing trust is paramount in any therapeutic relationship, and Shawn Maguire LPC follows strict ethical guidelines regarding client confidentiality. From the moment you walk into his office, you can feel at ease knowing that your privacy will be respected. This commitment to confidentiality creates a safe space for open communication and promotes a productive therapeutic journey.

Compassion and Empathy:

Shawn Maguire LPC is known for his genuine compassion and empathy towards his clients. Recognizing the vulnerability that often comes with discussing personal and sensitive matters, he provides a non-judgmental and supportive environment where individuals and families can freely express themselves. With Shawn’s warmth and understanding, you’ll feel empowered to explore your emotions and develop healthier coping strategies.

Collaborative Approach:

Shawn Maguire LPC believes in the power of collaboration between the therapist and clients. He works alongside his clients, fostering open dialogue, and involving them actively in their therapeutic journey. By empowering individuals and families to take an active role, Shawn Maguire LPC helps them develop the necessary skills and insights for lasting positive change.

When it comes to seeking a marriage and family therapist in Oklahoma City, Shawn Maguire LPC stands out for his expertise, compassionate approach, and dedication to his clients’ well-being. With his specialization in marriage and family therapy, cultural sensitivity, and commitment to confidentiality, Shawn Maguire LPC is the ideal partner for navigating through the challenges that arise within relationships and families. Experience the transformative power of therapy and book your appointment with Shawn Maguire LPC today.

4 Indices of a Failing Marriage

Every marriage will experience its own struggles and hardships. Determining whether your marriage has to be healed is crucial, though. It is common to put off addressing your spouse’s issues in the hopes that they will eventually go away. However, it is imperative that you address any issues that your marriage has as they arise.

This blog will outline typical indications of a failing marriage to help you see the signs that you and your partner might want outside assistance.

YOU FEEL MANIPULATED BY YOUR WIFE

You not being able to express yourself or have a sense of individuality is one indicator of a failed marriage. In a marriage, you should be able to openly discuss your opinions on many topics while also being able to consider your spouse’s point of view. If your partner frequently disregards your perspective, they are not seeing you as an equal, and that is a problem.

By restricting your daily access to certain things, your spouse may be managing you in another way. This may include having access to certain people, financial information, or even their domestic help. By declining to watch the children while you have birthday dinner, for instance, your spouse can be denying you the opportunity to maintain friendships.

CRITICIZING ONE ANOTHER CONSTANTLY

Overly harsh criticism is another indication of a failing marriage. Your spouse should be your strongest motivator and supporter throughout your entire life. They shouldn’t be the ones giving you self-confidence or self-doubt issues.

If it is applied properly, criticism can be beneficial. It might be a method for your marriage to advance and change. It can also be harmful if you are criticizing your partner’s actions or speaking to them out of shame.

When you are going to criticize your partner, it is crucial to keep your attention on your own sentiments. Instead of saying, “It really irritates me when you play video games with your friends and don’t pay attention to me,” Try concentrating on how the action makes you feel instead. “When we don’t make time for each other, I feel so unloved.”

WITHOUT INTIMACY

Lack of intimacy might signify a variety of factors. Most individuals initially associate a lack of intimacy in a marriage with a lack of sexual activity, although this is not the only possible cause. It may not involve holding hands, hugging, or saying goodbye with a kiss. Physical closeness can also take different forms. It could also be emotionally impersonal. This might be the case if you and your partner no longer enjoy spending time together, engaging in intellectual conversation, or experiencing a decline in spiritual intimacy.

INTERESTS IN YOUR WEDDING

The existence of secrets in your marriage may be an indication that it needs to be repaired. Secrets may put obstacles and distance between you and your partner. You need to comprehend the reasons behind any secrets you are holding from your spouse. Are you concerned about their possible reaction? With the facts you are withholding from them, do you not trust them? Do you realize that what you’re doing is wrong?

NEXT ACTION

You’ve come to the right place if you think there are pieces of your marriage that need to be fixed. Our trained therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting will assist you and your spouse in regaining a sense of wholeness. The best course of action would be to call us at (405) 921-7776 to find out more about how we can assist you.

How to React When Someone Gaslights You

GASLIGHTING: WHAT IS IT?

In order to manipulate you, a person may use gaslighting, a sort of psychological manipulation, to deny your reality and make you doubt your own emotions. Narcissists frequently employ this tactic to acquire what they want and assert their dominance over others. They keep it in their back pockets. Controlling people who abuse their relationships emotionally frequently engage in this. You probably feel a great deal of self-doubt or even question who you are if you’re in a relationship with someone who gaslights you. However, romance is not the only situation in which gaslighting is used to manipulate one partner in a relationship. Boss, friend, or family member manipulation is possible. The harder it is to maintain your composure, though, the closer you are to the gaslighter.

How can I tell whether I’m being discriminated against?

After reading this article, you could start to recognize a power imbalance in relationships where one party is gaslighting the other. Despite evidence to the contrary, it may appear as though this individual never does anything wrong and always has the upper hand. Your perspective of reality may be altered by a spouse who gaslights you, leading you to doubt your own judgment. They frequently act destructively or dismissively and then refuse to accept responsibility for their behavior. They won’t acknowledge your damaged sentiments and will use dismissal to get out of any situation. Those who gaslight people find it easy to place the blame on others. You are just making stuff up, after all. Keep in mind that as their hooks get deeper, you start to doubt your sanity. You’ll feel alone, inadequate, and unstable around manipulative people. Even worse, when you eventually summon the confidence to approach them, they always have an excuse.

COMMON LANGUAGE FOR GASLIGHTING

You overreacted.
You’re just being paranoid
You made me behave this way, so why do you keep bringing it up?
You are greatly exaggerating this.
A joke is too crude for you.
That’s entirely too sensitive of you.
Not a big deal, really.
Your insecurity is the only source of this.
That never occurred.

DISENGAGING FROM GASLIGHTING

Establishing boundaries is the first step towards escaping manipulation. Recognize the person’s emotions while gaslighting you, but let them know that you have your own truth. Your right to have your own emotions and your experience are both legitimate. Keep a journal of your interactions and experiences to help you remain steadfast in the reality of what occurred rather than the gaslighter’s deceptive spin. You may feel more rational as a result, and you may gradually regain your confidence. This will enable you to expose their lies once you start doing it. The sentences listed below can help you break their control over you. The majority of gaslighters will still try to push beyond any boundaries you impose, so be prepared to do so. Depending on the degree of gaslighting, you might occasionally verbally set a boundary and other times you might just leave the scene. These are merely a few things to think about or say.

I need to interrupt this conversation because I feel like I’m not being heard.
You don’t have to concur with me; I know how I feel.

I have the right to my own feelings, and if you keep telling me that they are unjustified or that I don’t understand, I’m going to go.

I understand that my experiences and perspectives are valid, but my experience was different, and if you keep speaking to me in this manner, I’ll have to hang up.

I’m done with this conversation until you’re ready to examine my points of view.

Don’t know what to do? WE CAN AID!

We are available to you if you need assistance regaining your self-confidence. Being aware of your mental abuse and escaping it are two different things. We are aware of how daunting it might be to confront someone who has been gaslighting you. Here, we give you the resources you need to establish healthy boundaries with the other person as well as inwardly. They don’t have to respect your opinions if they employ gaslighting to accomplish what they want. One method to begin releasing yourself from their grip over you is to ask for space or let them know that you will communicate with them when they can be fair and courteous.

We will give you the confidence to leave behind circumstances that are gaslighting you at New Vision Counseling and Consulting. We are thrilled to have the chance to help you on your way and provide you the tools you need to stop just getting by and start living a life you love. We’re eager to tailor your counseling experience to your unique needs and look forward to hearing from you. Call (405) 921-7776 for more details and to get started right away.

How to Be a Better Wife and Strengthen Your Relationship

We are expected to care for those around us as women. We transform a house into a house. Food is used to create meals. We encourage our spouses and serve as a constant reminder of their strength and value. We do, however, have a ton of other obligations right now more than ever. Many of us struggle to find time for self-care because we have careers, families, children, sports, extracurricular activities, and other commitments.

Not giving your husband the leftovers is an essential component of a happy marriage. By leftovers, what do I mean? The work and energy you have left over after taking care of your everyday tasks are referred to as leftovers. If you’re anything like me, you’re worn out by the end of the day. Offering our husbands this meager quantity of energy may be interpreted as giving them something as a reward for becoming our wives. Your relationship with God should come first before your marriage. Here are some suggestions on how to prioritize your husband and strengthen your marriage.

ENERGISE AND AID YOUR HUSBAND

The majority of us women find this following Biblical command to be both extremely vital and extremely difficult. At the very least, the verse that comes after has presented challenges for me: Wives, submit to your own husbands as you to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22). To be clear, there are situations in which you should not obey your husband. For instance, this scripture does not imply that you should serve him as his slave or submit to a manipulative abuser, a cheater, or a person who is encouraging you and your family to commit sin. For the majority of us, this does require us to make remembering to submit a critical habit. Additionally, in a happy marriage, the spouse won’t ORDER you to submit. He’ll want you to put your faith in him and do as he says. Additionally, he will respect your strengths and give credit where credit is due for your insight or aptitude. The majority of men need to be told about this chance for growth before being assisted in taking it.

Thankfully, we are not the only ones who must obey and submit to God. Because the Bible commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25), men are also held accountable. The “All about me” mentality of today’s culture may make this appear out of date, but if you want to have a fantastic marriage, you must hold these characteristics dear to your heart. And sure, that implies that a husband is required to love and guide his wife and family selflessly. He is obligated to love his wife to the point of giving his life for her, just as Christ did for us.

how to begin. Encourage your husband the most! He needs your support and your ongoing encouragement. He will be more likely to fulfill your demands and the needs of your children if you continue to build him up.

FOR YOUR HUSBAND, PRAY

Praying for your husband is one of the most altruistic and effective things you can do for him. No man can close the doors that prayer opens! Ask God to bless your husband abundantly while keeping him close to your heart. Why should your marriage be an exception? It is always wise to seek God’s guidance in relational problems that you are struggling with. According to Ecclesiastes 4:12, “a cord of three strands is not easily broken.” This implies that you and your spouse will become closer to one another as you grow closer to God.

NOT YOUR HUSBAND, BUT THE PROBLEM!

When someone you love makes a mistake, it can be tempting to react badly, especially if that person is your spouse. Men work and communicate differently than women, as is well known. This is important to keep in mind because I can almost certainly guarantee that you’ve just gotten into a conflict that could have been avoided with the right strategy. I am aware of how simple it is to feel irritated when things are not precisely how they should be after a long day at work. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spoken a phrase to the effect of “You were home all day, why aren’t the dishes clean?” Alternatively, “Why don’t you just put your socks in the hamper rather than on the floor?” However, what could seem like a light-hearted remark to women can strike deep and plunge males into a cycle of humiliation. Change your focus from “who” to “what,” instead. Keep in mind that it’s you and your husband against the issue and not you against him.

NEXT ACTIONS

Treating your marriage as the most difficult yet rewarding relationship you can create will ensure that you get the most out of it. Knowing where to turn when your marriage is having problems can be difficult. Relationship problems can be challenging for partners to see clearly because of emotions, routines, and misconceptions.

We provide a compassionate and transformational approach at New Vision Counseling and Consulting to assist you and your husband in building the marriage of your dreams. We can be of assistance whether you are having trouble reaching a consensus, need to move past a betrayal, or just want to enhance communication in your marriage. Thousands of couples have benefited from the years of experience and therapy through dysfunctional patterns provided by our staff of marriage and family therapists. We offer a sympathetic and judgment-free setting where you and your partner can feel comfortable talking about problems you wish to solve. By dialing (405) 921-7776, you can start putting money into your relationship right away.

 

 

 

 

 

Three Warning Signs of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is the psychological manipulation of a person to make them doubt their own sanity or ability to reason. There is always a victim in a relationship with a gaslighter. In this instance, suffering emotional harm as a result of someone else’s deeds or words means that you are a victim. You might think you’re going mad if a friend, significant other, or family member is gaslighting you. This blog post will assist you in recognizing three warning signs that a person is trying to gaslight you.

First red flag: They doubt your reality

A gaslighter will trick you into believing that something you remember regarding a circumstance or conversation never took place. They will accomplish this by continually contesting what you already know to be true until you start to question your memory of the events. There are numerous methods one may accomplish this, but two come to mind.

Triangulation is one. Triangulation occurs when a gaslighter gives you information to pass along to another person. The gaslighter then denies ever stating it when you tell them what you told them.

By denial is the second. Any wrongdoing or offensive behavior will be refuted. Consider the scenario when you are dating someone and you noticed a notification from a dating app flash up on their phone while they were in the restroom. A gaslighter would reject what you saw and try to convince you that it was false or that it never existed.

Red Flag No. 2: Negating Your Reputation in Public

The practice of reputation dragging is one more tactic that gaslighters frequently employ. They’ll call you out or share embarrassing tales about you in front of other people to do this. A gaslighter might do this to you for a few different reasons, but the main one is to keep you away from other people. They increase their influence on you and their authority by doing this.

THEY MINIMIZE YOUR FEELINGS (RED FLAG #3)

The act of disregarding your feelings is a frequent gaslighter strategy. They’ll make an effort to make you feel that your feelings are unacceptable, unimportant, or misguided. You will begin to feel guilty and place the blame on yourself if you do this.

If your emotions are being downplayed, you might begin to realize:

constantly apologizing
avoiding family and friends
Are you unsure if you are too sensitive to be yourself?
perpetually uncertain and overthinking
balancing on thin ice

NEXT ACTION

We can assist you if, after reading this blog, you recognize that you have been the victim of gaslighting. We have qualified therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting who can accompany you while you deal with the distressing effects of gaslighting. You CAN leave the abusive environment and begin to feel more like yourself. However, the majority of people require assistance in establishing boundaries, comprehending reality, and letting go of control. The best course of action is to call us at (405) 921-7776 to find out more about how we can assist you if this is something you’re seeking and you’re prepared to be respected and welcomed.

What are the Top 3 Elements of a Successful Marriage?

THE STARTING

Your first few dates are easy to connect with and enjoyable. Once upon a time, your partner’s annoying habits were considered to be peculiar eccentricities rather than deal-breakers. Disagreements appeared less intimidating due to butterflies and chemistry, and it was simple to ignore your partner’s transgressions. But as soon as the novelty wears off, the things that once came naturally start to strain on your relationship. Another stage starts if you make the brave choice to accept a proposal. Every area of your life is momentarily taken over by the excitement of preparing your wedding. As you argue over flowers, try on outfits, and finalize the details for your big day, you are simultaneously overwhelmed with happiness and tension. Designing an ideal wedding is a popular pastime, but what about a dream marriage?

MARRIAGE

Marriage requires a lot of work and cannot be sustained without intention and effort. This is something that a lot of couples overlook, especially when they first get married. You make a lifetime commitment to your mate when you stand at the altar. It seems simple enough, no? What happens if the spark wanes and the partnership is strained by financial obligations, young children, and other everyday stressors? Although it may sound bad, this is a reality. Marriage takes place on days when we are ill, angry, and worn out. You can witness both the greatest and worst aspects of your partner. The cliched ratio of 50/50 comes to mind, yet for a marriage to last for good, each spouse needs to aim for 100/100. The three key components of a successful and long-lasting marriage are listed below.

BUILD TOGETHER

We develop, mature, and change as we move through the stages of life. What once made us happy might not do so any longer. Perhaps a significant event has shaken your foundation and altered your entire outlook. Or perhaps as you’ve matured, your viewpoints have changed. We all undergo change, whether it comes gradually or all at once. The requirements and preferences of our relationships will alter as we do. This means that for your marriage to flourish, you and your partner must develop together rather than separately. Although it may seem cliche, this idea is crucial for marriage, especially if you married young.

Couples that promise to constantly learn more about one another make for marriages that last a lifetime! Be sure to get to know your companion well. What do they like to do? What music do they like best, and why? What television shows do they enjoy? These are enjoyable activities that most people prioritize in the early stages of relationships, but over time, this tendency may gradually disappear. Stop it, please!

COMMUNICATION

One of the most crucial components of every relationship is communication, however this is frequently the area where couples have the greatest difficulty. It can be simple to assume that we know how our spouse is feeling or thinking after spending a lot of time together. As you continue to believe these things, intimacy and communication start to fade, leaving you and your partner with unfulfilled expectations. One of the quickest ways to ruin a relationship is to have these unmet expectations.

It might be challenging to recognize when your communication skills need improvement, particularly if you have developed bad behaviors that go back to infancy. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for people to have problematic family ties as children. The kind of home environment you grow up in has an impact on how you interact with people later in life. This implies that you might need to teach yourself how to use language properly again. Learn your partner’s preferred methods of communicating and how they interpret your communications. It’s also crucial to offer your partner a shoulder to cry on and an unbiased ear to listen with. It is simple to become preoccupied with responding that we lose sight of how to actually listen. Instead of responding when your spouse speaks, try to grasp what they are saying.

GOOD LUCK!

Adulthood comes with a ton of obligations and stress. You have responsibilities at work, debts to pay, and kids to take care of. The state of your marriage may suffer as a result, and these may take precedence in your life. The romance will gradually fade away if you don’t make it a point to date your spouse. Keep in mind what it was like to actually appreciate and have fun with one another. For a solid and enduring relationship, scheduling date nights and time alone with your spouse is essential. Since they will be your lifelong companion, learn to have fun and appreciate every moment of it. Don’t take things too seriously, and put your marriage first. Maintaining closeness and intimacy might make the rest of life feel less demanding.

NEXT ACTIONS

Marriage is difficult! A marriage must possess these qualities in order to endure for a lifetime: compassion, selflessness, and tenacity. I like to remind people that they’re probably doing marriage incorrectly if it sounds simple. It can be challenging to navigate the shifting tides of life and relationships. We take great satisfaction in having therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting that are family and relationship-focused. We want your spouse to be by your side as you live the life you want. We offer the resources to assist you, whether you’re trying to develop healthy communication skills or heal a significant wound. We are the place for you if you want to learn healthy marriage behaviors or simply want to better understand your partner. Dial (405) 921-7776 to reach us.

Approaches to Social Anxiety

Do you struggle with severe social anxiety? You can experience the notion that anything you say or do has the potential to make you look foolish. Or perhaps the idea of being judged makes you feel anxious and prevents you from interacting with people. You don’t have to live this way; there are techniques to boost your self-assurance and comfort level in social situations.

USE YOUR SOCIAL SKILLS

Depending on factors including your personality, how frequently you engage with others, and past experiences, social encounters may feel more comfortable. You could find that honing your social skills might make all the difference if you frequently feel uneasy in social settings.

Knowing oneself is a crucial component of being optimistic in public. Gaining greater self-confidence will be quite beneficial when it comes to feeling more at ease and confident when dealing with people. The fear of what other people think of you will lessen when you are confident in who you are. You can recognize your strengths, passions, and relationship-enhancing qualities to boost your self-confidence.

You could also work on the following social skills:

conversing informally
Ask insightful questions and pay attention to the responses.
Your personal presentation
How you respond to criticism
Identifying your source of value
Increasing self-confidence
the capacity to refuse
IN VIVO EXPOSURE

Vivo exposure is the process of confronting something in real life to lessen your fear of it. Many other anxiety disorders can benefit from this, but in this instance, we’ll concentrate on social anxiety. By doing this, you stand a better chance of learning new information, feeling more at ease, and being safe when addressing your fear.

AS AN EXAMPLE:

Let’s imagine you find it difficult to strike up a conversation with someone casually because you worry that you won’t have anything to say. Finding moments in your life where you can have informal interactions is how exposure in Vivo would function. You can do this by inviting your neighbor over for dinner, introducing yourself to the grocery store cashier, or asking a friend to help you do errands.

APPLIED RESPONSE

Finding relaxation methods that can put your body and mind at ease can be useful if you deal with social anxiety. There are numerous tried-and-true methods for overcoming daily stress and worry. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, our therapists can guide you through various approaches as you begin to incorporate them into your daily life.

Here are a few illustrations of relaxing methods:

Body consciousness
Graphic Images
progressively relaxing the muscles
breath control drills
Meditation Prayer

NEXT ACTION

We CAN assist you if you’re seeking for strategies to boost your self-assurance and comfort in social settings. We will accompany you while you confront your anxieties, develop self-assurance, and discover techniques for living a tranquil life. Call us at (405) 921-7776 as your next move to find out more about how we may best assist you.

Defining Boundaries: What You Should Know

HOW DO BOUNDARIES WORK?

I prefer to think of borders as being similar to the fence you build around your property line to keep your house safe. Your personal space and the space of your neighbors are separated by this fence. I immediately understand that I shouldn’t cross a fence without permission when I see one. However, both literally and figuratively speaking, not everyone gets the memo. Consider your own boundaries as a safeguard against other people. We keep some people at a distance while allowing others to approach us. Many people are unaware of their own personal limits, which makes them unaware that they are allowing others to walk on their metaphorical grass. This message is for you if you find it difficult to uphold sensible boundaries.

HOW CAN I DETERMINE IF I HAVE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES?

Setting appropriate boundaries with the people in our lives is our responsibility. Some people are unaware of this or were never taught how crucial it is for emotional health. A person with uneven boundaries would frequently take on other people’s emotional burdens, develop animosity toward other people for breaching limits that weren’t clearly defined, or feel powerless over their lives. One of the most prevalent types of boundary-breaking is the tendency to please others. You might have had overbearing parents as a child, or you might have felt the need to earn love. The outcome? unhealthy limits and the idea that we must perform chores in order to obtain affection.

WHAT IS SELF-CARE, EXACTLY?

A healthy and successful lifestyle depends on practicing self-care. If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably had moments where you put other people before yourself. This brings to mind the common airplane oxygen mask metaphor. In an emergency, adults are encouraged to put on their oxygen masks before assisting their children. Understand why? Before saving yourself, you must first save the others. The fact that you cannot pour from an empty glass is another powerful metaphor. This indicates that before you can give to others, you must give to yourself. Feeling stretched thin, overwhelmed, and worn out? These are all signs that you are finding it difficult to set appropriate limits with others around you.

HOW TO DETERMINE SUITABLE BOUNDARIES

When you set up appropriate boundaries with individuals around you, you will be astounded by how good you feel. The relationships that matter to us most need to be safeguarded. They could become upset when we initially decide to create boundaries with someone we love. I am aware that this is difficult, but it is essential for your wellbeing. Consider the opposition of others as confirmation that you have established good boundaries. Although it does take work, this is an excellent method to break the habit of putting others before yourself. Here are some guidelines for creating sound boundaries. Keep in mind that you must safeguard your emotional “grass!”

A clear standard that others know they must abide by if they wish to have a relationship with you is provided when you are proactive in boundary setting.

re-establishing boundaries in relationships: It is more harder to restore a broken barrier since you have to teach other people how to treat you again. It could be difficult for them to perceive you and treat you differently when you have been that way for so long. It doesn’t have to be scary, but this may be! It usually indicates that you are making progress in defending your energy and wellbeing when others become unhappy while you are going through this process. And those that respect you and your relationship and are in good health will adapt to your new boundaries.

Put your needs first: You are better equipped to love yourself and those around you by keeping a balance between doing good things and taking care of yourself. We develop resentment towards other people when we let them physically or psychologically enter our personal space. This is a negative emotion that lowers the value of your relationships.

Be Intentional with Your Time: Productivity depends on us setting appropriate boundaries with the people and things we spend our time with. Keep in mind that you are not expected to pick up other people’s slack!

Next actions

Building and maintaining boundaries can be difficult, but once you do, you’ll have more time to live the life you desire! I have been in relationships—both romantic and familial—without good boundaries, and I experienced exhaustion and emptiness as a result. God did not design for us to live like this! Even Jesus had rules for his followers and the individuals he cared about. How would Jesus have performed miracles if he had spent all of his time trying to please other people? He most likely wouldn’t have, is the answer. You are not the only one who struggles to find time for your wonders. When you are having issues with respect, self-worth, or boundaries, it is advisable to get assistance, especially if you have never done so before. We at New Vision Counseling and Consulting want to help you create the life you’ve always wanted.

We have a highly skilled group of therapists who can help you create a plan for becoming better. Because we are aware of how challenging life may be, we have some straightforward suggestions and counsel for you. It is common to feel as though your current situation is blinding you. Let us evaluate the areas of your life that require change in a fair and compassionate manner. We take great pride in offering a safe workplace filled with compassion and empathy. Call us when you get a chance; we’re waiting and want to talk to you soon. Contact us by dialing 405-921-7776.

Grief: Managing Memories After a Loss

When a loved one dies, you could feel sorrowful again, sometimes even years later. The agony of loss is frequently made worse by reminders. You will have a better chance of advancing in your healing if you know what to expect and how to handle reminders of your loss.

On the anniversary of your loved one’s passing or during other auspicious dates throughout the year, grief could reappear. These terrible feelings, often referred to as an anniversary reaction, do not have to prevent you from healing. Their presence shows how much you valued and missed your loved one.

There are reminders everywhere

Some tributes to your loved one might be required, such as remembering the occasion of their loss, honoring their birthdays and anniversaries, or taking part in novel activities you know they would have enjoyed. Even ceremonies held in remembrance of other people can cause you to experience the sorrow of your own loss. Depending on the loss, they may occur when a person gives birth to a kid or when their eldest child completes college and moves away.

Sights, sounds, and fragrances can serve as triggers for memories as well. And when you least expect it, they could surprise you. While driving, you might pass a restaurant that your loved one liked. Or you play their favorite song on a playlist, and all of a sudden, you find yourself filled with emotion.

REACTIONS COMMON TO REMINDERS

The course of grief is unpredictable. A loved one’s passing anniversary can trigger strong memories of the feelings and events that surrounded their loss. They may last for many days at a time or even longer in some circumstances. You might experience the same intense emotions and reactions on anniversaries as you did the first time you lost a loved one, including:

Depression Shock
Denial
Anger
Anxiety
Angry Outbursts
Guilt Difficulty Sleeping Fatigue

WORKING THROUGH REACTIONS TO REMINDERS: A GUIDE
Years after a loss, when you come across recollections of your loved one’s demise, you could still feel depressed. As you continue to heal, take action to deal with remembrances of your loss.

Be ready

Reactions to anniversaries are common and often predictable. Knowing the likelihood of experiencing it can help you get ready for how you will react to it and increase your chance of recovery.

Think ahead

Plan your current successful techniques for any impending or anticipated reminders. When you might feel more alone or encounter reminders, plan a visit with friends or relatives.

Consider and feel

Instead of only mourning your loss, think back on your loved one’s wonderful qualities and the times you shared. It’s crucial to recognize that it’s appropriate to feel emotions, including sadness. It’s also crucial to give yourself permission to experience other feelings, such as joy and happiness.

Commemorate

One illustration is to dedicate a tree or make a donation in your loved one’s name. Getting things done and producing results may be therapeutic and healing.

Place relationships first

Pay attention to your relationships with friends and family. Draw near to them and take solace in their support and presence. Maybe think about signing up for a grieving support group. Make time for your faith, prayer, and hearing from God. This can be difficult, but maintaining healthy relationships throughout your healing process is essential if you want to start living again.

TIME TO SEEK ADDITIONAL SUPPORT

Grief never expires, and emotions to anniversaries could throw you into a tailspin. Even so, as you move through the agony of your loss, grieving typically becomes less strong with time.

Consider speaking with a grief counselor if your grief doesn’t seem to be getting better over time or if it’s getting in the way of your ability to go about your regular business. Depression, bodily ills, and many mental health issues can result from unresolved bereavement. However, with expert assistance, you may maintain your healing progress and reclaim a sense of direction and control in your life.

We are here for you if you’re ready to start the process of conquering your grief. Our staff of compassionate therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting is extremely skilled in assisting you in working through loss and building a life you want to be a part of. Please give us a call at (405) 921-7776 as the logical next step. Hopefully we’ll see you soon!

Adult Anxiety Interventions

If anxiety is not controlled, it can potentially take over your life and is more than simply ordinary stress. You end up feeling completely overburdened, worn out, and distracted. Numerous anxiety sufferers report having trouble sleeping, tense muscles, headaches, and racing thoughts. These are just a few examples of the destruction worry can cause in your body and psyche. This message is for you if you frequently experience fear or concern, find it difficult to unwind, or even experience panic attacks. The following advice will help you reduce your anxiety at home. We’ll also concentrate on beneficial treatments you can encounter if you choose to get help for your anxiety.

MEDITATION

You enter a persistent state of hyperarousal when you are anxious, which is characterized by an elevated heart rate, nausea, trembling or shaking, shortness of breath, and excessive restlessness. The amount of adrenaline produced into your body increases while your nervous system is working overtime. This gets you ready to defend yourself against perceived threats brought on by intense discomfort. You can then fight, run, or freeze. You must discover how to unwind and breathe in order to combat this.

I am aware of your thoughts.”If it’s that easy, why do so many people have anxiety issues?” You’re not mistaken, but there are specific breathing and meditation techniques that focus on the amygdala, the brain’s fear region. Dr. Kate Truitt, a clinical psychologist and neuroscientist, invented this method, which is also known as CPR for the Amygdala or Self Havening. To access a brief guided meditation that you can use whenever you’re feeling nervous or triggered, click the link.

MINDFULNESS

When anxiety is at its worst, your mind may feel overloaded and you could feel as though you have no control over the intrusive thoughts. These can include regrets about the past, emotional challenges that are currently occurring, and anxiety about the future. Being an anxious person trains your mind to always worry and anticipate the worse. Practicing mindfulness can help you keep your attention in the here and now. You can take a deep breath and view your anxious thoughts objectively.

The first step is to become aware of the worried thought, to acknowledge it, and to release oneself from its control. It’s not true just because you think it is. Many of the anxieties and fears that anxiety instills in the mind never come to pass. There are numerous methods to practice mindfulness, but a few of my favorites are keeping a journal of your reflections, making a list of things you are grateful for every day, and incorporating mindfulness into your regular prayer time.

THERAPEUTIC ACTIONS TO RELIEVE ANXIETY

Numerous sufferers of crippling anxiety are unable to control their symptoms on their own and opt to supplement their treatment with either pharmaceutical or therapeutic measures. Beyond the scope of this article, medications for anxiety are typically prescribed by a physician or psychiatrist. Cognitive behavioral therapies, which work to alter unhelpful thought patterns and the behaviors they are connected with, are frequently used in mental health therapy for anxiety.

PERSONAL REFRAME

Cognitive behavioral therapy makes use of the cognitive reframing technique. Your thinking life will be explored by mental health counselors with the aid of self-awareness exercises and thought journals. This hypothesis is predicated on the idea that your thoughts affect how you feel about the world around you. Though daunting at first, this is beneficial when you realize that while you have control over your ideas, the outside world does not. You can identify the antecedent that is triggering both the problematic thoughts and the subsequent behaviors if you are aware of your triggers and problematic ideas.

You can start changing your mind habits and developing a more positive view by becoming aware of skewed thinking patterns. You can teach your brain to respond in ways that make you happy and healthier by engaging in cognitive reframing. Although this is one of the most successful therapy interventions for anxiety, it is not a simple process and does require time to complete a thorough evaluation.

EMDR, or eye movement desensitization and processing

It’s challenging to operate and make good decisions when our minds are cluttered with painful memories and worried thoughts. A therapist will direct you during EMDR to concentrate on a distressing memory that is impairing your life and self-image. Then, while concentrating on bilateral eye movements, you will explain the sensations and feelings connected to this recollection.

Typically, a therapist will do this by presenting visual cues for you to concentrate on and move your eyes side to side while you process your upsetting memories. The technique is repeated over the course of numerous sessions—or however long it takes—to desensitize the emotions you connect with the memories so that you can heal. The therapist will then ask you how you feel. Through the use of guided memory processing, EMDR gives you the chance to alter the meaning and emotions attached to experiences that, if not adequately investigated and addressed, can contribute to mental illness.

NEXT ACTIONS

We hope that these methods may help you on your path to recovery and wellness. But I am aware that dealing with worry on your own can be challenging. Many people battle anxiety on a daily basis for the entirety of their lives. Good news: You’re not required to. A team of therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting have a wealth of expertise assisting people with anxiety, and they will customize your therapeutic approaches to meet your specific requirements. We want you to feel at ease telling us your story so we can better your life and provide you with the resources you require to be your best self. Call us at (405) 921-7776 as soon as you are prepared to accept healing and guidance.

Ways to Get Your Wife Back

Let’s face it: Men have a limited knowledge of women since they are multifaceted people. There is a secret to getting her heart back if your marriage is having problems, even though you may not know what to do. Women need to feel comfortable in their relationships since they are emotional beings. Women’s primary relational requirements, in accordance with psychologist and internationally renowned relationship expert John Gottman, are emotional support and reliability. Here are some suggestions for balancing these requirements while maintaining a successful marriage.

Emotional sensitivity

Perhaps you’re unsure of what emotional attunement is. The good news is that we know the solution! Genuinely connecting on an emotional level with your wife is emotional attunement. Some examples include physically moving closer to her, demonstrating empathy, and actually caring when she expresses her feelings to you. Ask her questions, support her feelings, and listen without becoming defensive. She will feel safe being herself in this situation, and you’ll get major brownie points for this emotional connection.

Emotions can instantly make men run the other way, but if you want to have a healthy relationship, you must learn how to respond to emotional demands. Most guys automatically want to “fix” or “make it go away” when they see a woman in a bad emotional condition. This is most likely because males want to please their wives. It is simple to conclude that you done something wrong if your wife is unhappy. She frequently only wants your support and validation of her feelings, not to be fixed by you.

BE TRUSTED

Being dependable entails coming across as your genuine, true self. Being accountable means doing what you say you’ll do. Women are intuitive by nature and may sense when you are not being sincere or carrying out a duty just for your own benefit. Make your wife feel special by doing something without expecting anything in return. Show her that you are there for her at difficult times and that you will always be there for her.

If you are able to, prepare dinner in advance for her when she gets home if she’s had a hard day. With her extracurricular activities, sports commitments, and piano lessons, does your wife appear worn out? Learn your children’s timetables so you can deliver them on time to their destinations. I can promise her that knowing she can rely on you to co-parent and be there in all aspects of life will relieve some of her burdens.

COMMUNICATION

It’s no secret that communication between men and women differs. Women frequently ramble on for longer because they include details and dramatic effect… Although perhaps not entirely accurate, many guys would concur with this. Men tend to be direct, omit crucial information, and exhibit an almost dispassionate demeanor. You might disagree with this supposition as well, yet many ladies I know firmly believe it because to their prior experiences. The fact is that one of the toughest challenges in every relationship is effective communication. This becomes more and more obvious in partnerships that are fighting for their lives. Make careful to express your feelings to your wife. Don’t omit any details, and give your remarks considerable thought.

SHORTEN THE CYCLE

At their heart, all relationships can be seen as transactional processes. After a couple has been married and has shared a home for a while, habits and expectations start to build. This may be advantageous or detrimental. The initial effort you put into your connection establishes the future expectations. Unfortunately, a problem arises when these expectations are abruptly not satisfied. Everything else is filtered through this vicious loop because of this lower-quality relationship, which sets the bar for all other relationships. You understand that certain things about your wife irritate you, and vice versa. You both are aware of each other’s triggers, and when things are unhealthy, many people use this as a means of retaliation against their spouse.

Setting an example by taking the initiative and bringing about change can be challenging. What if this may influence the course of your marriage before you discard me? You won’t believe how important this is, but I’ll tell you why. Through his research and studies of relationships between men and women, John Gottman has learned the secrets to both successful and unsuccessful ones. He discovered that the majority of heterosexual relationships are either made or broken by the man. Don’t be the one to ruin your relationship! Set a good example for her, and she will probably gradually let down her guard and follow your lead.

NEXT ACTIONS

We sincerely hope that you will find this communication to be useful and that you will take our suggestions into account. Due to the complexity of relationships, you might require more assistance than what we can provide through this blog. The good news is that you don’t need to lose heart if implementing these modifications is insufficient to save your marriage. You and your wife can feel seen, heard, and respected at New Vision Counseling and Consulting because of our secure, judgment-free environment. Our staff of compassionate and skilled counselors is here and prepared to lead you to the marriage of your dreams. Call (405-) 921-7776 if you’re ready to make the leap of faith and receive professional advice from our staff of compassionate therapists.

What Indicates a Toxic Marriage?

Marriage is meant to be a sacred union between two individuals who genuinely care for and love one another. Even yet, there are still circumstances in which a marriage might degenerate into toxicity. The person who previously made you feel cherished may end up being the only one who hurts you or betrays you. When one or both partners act in ways that consistently harm the other person’s bodily or mental well-being, the marriage is toxic. The warning symptoms of a toxic marriage are listed below.

CONSTANT COMMENTARY

Because of the continual criticism in a toxic marriage, you could start to believe that nothing you do or say is appropriate. You may feel neglected and unworthy if you are always under the impression that you are not living up to your partner’s expectations. Relationships of this kind can cause long-term emotional, psychological, and occasionally even bodily harm. Your inner voice is formed by the words that are said to you, and soon you will start to believe these damaging thoughts. Your self-esteem may suffer, and you can start to feel as though you deserve to be treated in this manner.

VORTEXT ABUSE

In a marriage, verbal abuse, a type of emotional abuse, may be extremely corrosive and depleting. You may be the victim of emotional abuse if your partner verbally assaults, belittles, or rants at you all the time. This kind of activity can have a long-term negative impact on your psychological health and create serious emotional distress. Something you tell someone for a long enough time will eventually come true. It’s possible that all of the derogatory things that are spoken to you start to settle in. It could be time to reassess your relationship because no one should be treated this way.

MANAGING BEHAVIOUR

A controlling spouse is an indication that unwholesome habits are starting to develop in your marriage. While some abusive and controlling tendencies have good intentions, some dominating actions do. Control is a sign that your partner needs to maintain power over you or feels intimidated by you. Controlling behaviors can occasionally be sparked by feelings of fear or insecurity. In many other circumstances, it’s because they wish to change you into someone other than who you are. And any actions you take that deviate from the identity they have established for you will have unfavorable effects. In these circumstances, you can find yourself rationalizing your spouse’s negative actions to both yourself and other people. This is a clear indicator of an unhealthy marriage.

INFIDELITY

Cheating can take many different forms and is a serious blow to any marriage. At its most basic, infidelity frequently involves passion and selfishness, with numerous more underlying causes for why someone could cheat once or repeatedly. It is very difficult to restore trust once it has been damaged in this way, but it is possible if both parties are willing to put forth the effort. However, a spouse who consistently betrays you demonstrates that they do not appreciate or cherish your feelings. You could start to question what is wrong or lacking with you, but it takes two to make a relationship work and only one to ruin it. It is imperative that you seek professional marital therapy from a person skilled in mending marriages if you have even the slightest inkling that your marriage can be saved. Separation or distance (temporary or permanent) may be the best course of action if the connection has gone too far or if you do not feel safe.

IMPROPER COMMUNICATION

The importance of communication in partnerships makes it a frequent reason for couples to seek marriage counseling. Because the language we all naturally use is a product of a combination of prior experiences, childhood circumstances, and different perspectives of the world around us, learning to communicate successfully may be a challenging undertaking. Communication styles are greatly influenced by culture as well. A relationship may be in peril and possibly contain unmet expectations if you and your partner are unable to talk honestly and openly.

NEXT ACTIONS

The first step in dealing with toxic marriages is determining whether the union can be saved. Reconciliation is possible if you and your partner are both willing to put effort and commitment into improving your relationship. Regardless of your ultimate objective, it is advisable to seek professional advice if you feel that your surroundings is hazardous. Speaking with a qualified therapist can assist in locating the source of issues and offering practical remedies. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we place a high importance on assisting you in creating loving, healthy relationships that are characterized by excellent communication and trust. We can assist you whether you’re looking for advice on how to save your marriage or need help planning your future. A logical next step is straightforward if you’re willing to move toward a better marriage. Contact us by dialing (405) 921-7776.

How to Handle Trauma by Yourself

Trauma can be difficult to recover from and can have a long-lasting impact on your general functioning and wellbeing. You could find it difficult to rediscover who you are after a traumatic event, or you might feel entirely overwhelmed by the emotional havoc that trauma has left in your wake. If your trauma feels too powerful to handle alone, it’s crucial to seek support by talking with friends, family, or a trained therapist. The following advice can assist you in minimizing the harmful impacts of trauma until you are prepared to take the next step and seek assistance from others.

STATE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE DIFFERENTLY

This is an excellent initial step because it enables you to pinpoint the issues that are affecting you and to set objectives for the changes you want to make to your life and yourself in the future. This work may seem nearly hard to complete alone if you are traumatized. However, there are significant advantages if you can pull this off. If not, you can find yourself in the nearly impossible situation of trying to hit a target when you have no idea of its location or appearance.

KNOW WHAT TRIGGERS YOU HAVE

Finding your triggers is a further step in the trauma recovery process. A trigger is anything that disrupts your nervous system and transports you back to a traumatic event. Examples of triggers include sounds, smells, environments, and other external stimuli. Triggers can be challenging to deal with since they cause strong emotional reactions. Perhaps a certain individual triggers memories of a terrible accident, or perhaps a music fully overwhelms your senses with fear and dread because it conjures up your horrific event. Everyone has different triggers, so how you choose to manage yours is a matter of personal preference. Once you’ve recognized your triggers, you can start developing healthy coping mechanisms and making preparations for when you’re going through particularly trying moments emotionally.

PARTICIPATE IN FITNESS ACTIVITIES

Exercise lowers stress levels and triggers the body’s natural endorphin release, which elevates mood and functions more generally. Regular physical exercise like jogging, walking, or yoga can relieve stress and help you deal with your negative thoughts and emotions. Exercise for just 30 minutes a day can significantly lessen your symptoms and help you develop a more positive view on life, both inside and externally. Even if it may seem hopeless, taking a stroll with your dog or getting some fresh air are scientifically proven techniques to increase resilience.

LEARN RESPONSIBILITY TECHNIQUES

Relaxation methods might lessen the amount of distress you feel when your trauma triggers you. This can be accomplished by doing progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing exercises, listening to calming music, or meditating. Spending time with your pet is a terrific approach to make you feel supported. It can be reassuring and peaceful to know they are there to hug and accept you precisely as you are. Remember that you are in charge and that you have the ability to regain control of your mind and body when overpowering thoughts and sensations take over. These strategies gradually lessen the severity of your bad side effects, however it might be frightening and overwhelming in the beginning.

Practice being mindful.

Exercises in mindfulness assist you in staying in the moment and preventing negative thoughts about the past or the future. You can focus and relax your mind by paying attention to physical sensations like your breathing, the sound of your heartbeat, or the feel of the breeze on your skin. Traumatic triggers have the ability to return your body and mind to a dangerous state, but you have the ability to return your mind to a secure state. Your mind may struggle to focus at first, but you will eventually learn to manage your thoughts and stay in the current moment rather than reflecting on your past traumatic events.

FORMALIZE YOURSELF

Traumatic events can have aberrant physiological repercussions on the mind, body, and spirit in addition to altering how you process memories, emotions, and experiences. Brain scans of people who have been through trauma reveal a striking change in activity and chemistry in different parts of the brain. To start processing trauma on your own, it’s crucial to comprehend how serious trauma may be and how it affects your life. Allow yourself grace in these situations and acknowledge the trauma your body and mind have experienced. Learning about the effects of trauma can help you understand why you are feeling the way you are. You can get ready for restoration by reading books or articles about healing.

NEXT ACTIONS

New Vision Counseling and Consulting is available to assist you in your healing process if you find this message to be helpful but recognize you need professional assistance in processing and working through your trauma. Our kind and sympathetic staff of therapists will assist you in finding the best coping mechanisms and techniques to deal with your sorrow because they have received specialized training in processing trauma. When you are in need, we are here to lend a helping hand. Based on your unique needs and way of life, we personalize treatment strategies and objectives. We will give you the resources you need for a bright future filled with healing and the capacity to build the kind of relationships you want in your life. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 if you’re ready to have someone who genuinely cares and is qualified to assist you.

How Can I Set Better Boundaries?

Living a fulfilling life requires establishing and upholding appropriate limits. Personal limits are necessary to safeguard your physical, emotional, and mental health as well as to promote healthy interpersonal interactions. By making your boundaries clear, you give yourself the chance to cultivate more fulfilling relationships, better manage your time and energy, and lessen stress. Setting limits is difficult, especially if you have a propensity to please others. You know it’s time to review your limits if you frequently say “yes” out of guilt or out of a fear of upsetting people. The following advice will help you establish sound boundaries in your life.

DEFINE YOUR TERRITORIES

Determine your priorities, feelings, and values first. Think about your priorities and how you wish to safeguard them. Examining your emotional state and figuring out what emotional triggers you feel in various circumstances are helpful ways to start this process. You’ll know better what boundaries to set once you’ve identified the values and feelings that motivate you. Starting this process can be challenging, but one thing to keep in mind is that if your new limits are upsetting people, you are moving in the correct path. Everyone shouldn’t have unrestricted access to your time, energy, and emotions, yet taking back control of your life may leave others perplexed. By discussing the reasons for and the steps you are taking to reshape your life, you might lessen this misunderstanding. Setting appropriate boundaries will improve your time management abilities and create a secure environment in which you can recover emotionally.

COMMUNICATE

Assume responsibility for setting and maintaining boundaries. It’s crucial to be tough while yet keeping respect in mind if you want to make sure your point is being understood. You can express how you feel without being confrontational by using “I” statements. You could, for instance, remark, “When you talk to me in that tone of voice, I feel hurt and devalued.” This allows you the chance to express your feelings without making accusations or blaming other people. Your emotions deserve to be acknowledged as being true. It could be necessary to put distance between yourself and that person and reevaluate their place in your life if they are uncomfortable with this or frequently minimize your emotions.

BE RELIABLE

Setting limits with people can be challenging, especially if you’ve never done it before. Despite attempts to violate your boundaries, be consistent with them. Speak up if someone continues to transgress your boundaries. Reminding them of your boundaries is beneficial, but be ready to leave if necessary. Setting boundaries shows that you respect and esteem the other person. Anyone who rejects them could not have a place in your future. the life in which you decide to be your most loving, greatest selves. Saying “no” when you feel the need to do so is a smart way to start this process. You can avoid falling back into your old patterns by having a predetermined plan in place so that you can respond proactively rather than reacting in the heat of the moment.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

If you want to be a healthy and entire person, self-care is crucial. This entails compassionately taking care of your bodily, mental, and emotional needs. Establishing emotional boundaries involves regularly examining your feelings and keeping track of any changes in your energy or mood. By doing this, you may map out your limitations and determine where to set boundaries moving forward. Limit your interactions with negative people and avoid dwelling on the negative in order to take care of your mental health. In order to create healthy physical boundaries, one can practice good diet, restrict sugar intake, or go to bed at the same time every night. This gives your body stability and guarantees that you have the energy to complete the tasks that are most important to you.

NEXT ACTIONS

Developing a new habit might be challenging, but it is possible with the correct support. These recommendations should motivate you to establish sensible boundaries in your life. Our therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are available if you have any additional concerns regarding limits or need help creating a life that motivates you. We take great pride in giving you a place where you can tell your experience and receive the support you require. Getting a sympathetic and unbiased assessment of the barriers keeping you back can change your life. Are you prepared to start the path to a healthier you? Call (405) 921-7776 right now.

How Can Counselors Aid Those Suffering From Depression?

Depression can keep you mired in an unending pit of melancholy, passivity, and despair. It can appear impossible to complete ordinary chores, like getting out of bed. Thoughts like “Is life really worth living?” or “The future is hopeless anyway, so what’s the point?” may cross your mind. If so, you’re not the only one. One of the most widespread types of mental illness, depression is experienced by millions of individuals worldwide. It adversely impacts important relationships and results in a loss of joy, lost interest, changes in eating and sleeping habits, and changes in mood. Individuals who are depressed frequently suffer suicidal ideas and thoughts.

Get a professional assessment and diagnosis regarding your unique mix of symptoms and needs because depression frequently co-occurs with other illnesses, such as anxiety. One of the most crucial choices you can make is to seek out professional assistance. Counselors can provide you the direction, support, and tools you need to overcome your depression as they are trained to deal with mental health issues.

OFFERING A SAFE AREA

The counseling office serves as a secure setting for you to express your feelings and experiences during sessions. Counselors are aware of this ongoing struggle since depressive thoughts can turn dark when one is trapped inside of them. You don’t have to smooth over your angular edges or pretend that everything is fine. You can feel at ease being yourself in a judgment-free environment like the therapeutic setting. Counselors are available to help and uplift you as you battle depression. You can feel at peace with all facets of your sadness and mental troubles because of the unconditional acceptance and empathy that characterize the interaction between counselor and client. Although it takes time, it is worthwhile to put in the effort.

RESOLUTIONAL METHODS

Counselors will teach you relaxation and stress-reduction methods as part of your treatment because these factors might make depression symptoms worse. These methods can include awareness, meditation, deep breathing, and muscular relaxation. I constantly emphasize the value of pausing. Inhale deeply, consider the big picture, and acknowledge that you are in charge of you. Affirmations spoken aloud or visualizing a serene setting can both be effective. Find a cheerful, liberated area in your thoughts to be. On a desolate beach, where I can only hear the sound of the waves lapping against the coast and see only a clear blue sky and white sand, I imagine myself to be safe. Allow yourself to explore your creativity and find the methods that are most effective for your emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

How does counseling for anxiety help?

Because it gives people the tools and techniques to better control their symptoms and address underlying problems, therapy can be a successful anxiety treatment. Here are several methods therapy can be beneficial:

Therapy offers a nonjudgmental, safe, and supportive setting where you can freely communicate your feelings and experiences without worrying about being judged or rejected. This might make you more at ease and self-assured as you investigate your anxiety and its underlying causes.
Therapy can assist in identifying and challenging negative beliefs and thoughts that cause anxiety. These thoughts and beliefs can then be challenged and replaced with more uplifting and realistic ones. The strength and frequency of anxious thoughts and sensations can be lessened as a result of this.

teaches coping mechanisms: Therapy can instruct you in coping mechanisms including breathing exercises, mindfulness, and relaxation methods. When anxiety strikes, one can utilize these techniques to lessen both its physical and mental symptoms.

Addresses underlying issues: Therapy can assist you in exploring and resolving issues including unresolved emotions, relationship challenges, or prior traumas. Therapy can help you gain a deeper comprehension of your anxiety and how to deal with it by addressing these concerns.
gives you a feeling of control: Anxiety can make you feel as though you are out of control. By giving you the means to manage your symptoms and by making you feel confident and in control, therapy can help you feel in control of your anxiety.

All things considered, counselling can be a helpful tool for anyone dealing with anxiety. Therapy can assist you in more effectively managing their anxiety and enhancing your quality of life by offering a safe and encouraging environment, teaching coping mechanisms, and addressing underlying concerns.

There is still hope if you feel like you need more even after finding this to be useful. To assist you, New Vision Counseling is here. We are a group of skilled therapists who care about you and will meet you where you are in order to support your healing and forward motion. Get continuous treatment from therapists that have been carefully vetted and are anxiety treatment specialists. Your therapy sessions will be safe and judgment-free to begin with. We walk alongside you and provide you with the support and tools you need to recover and get back to living. We’ll be by your side, encouraging you and helping you find the freedom and healing you strive for. The logical next step is to get in touch with them by dialing (405) 921-7776.

 

ANXIETY

This may sound familiar to you. Your chest feels so tight that you can hardly breathe, and you are so anxious that you are unable to control your rushing thoughts. You find it impossible to carry out your everyday activities, you are beyond worn out, and you believe that no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to stop riding the emotional roller coaster of anxiety, sadness, and fury. Relationships, your career, and LIFE all feel so overwhelming that you’re not sure how much longer you can take it. And no matter how much guidance you receive, how many books you read, or how many Netflix series you binge watch, you simply cannot escape it. Can you identify?

I have wonderful news if you answered yes. true aid and true hope are available. You don’t have to endure these problems and deal with them by yourself. We know we can help you in real and transformative ways, and we are here for you.

Our staff of caring therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting is extensively trained in the most cutting-edge and effective therapy methods currently accessible. In order to meet you where you are, we blend the most effective counseling techniques with a Christian worldview.

We get to know the true you when you enter, not just the one you present to the outside world. We can design a plan that is suited to your particular needs and goals because we take the time to get to know the real you. You are encouraged to be who you truly are in this setting, perhaps for the first time ever. When the true self emerges, you will be able to receive the assistance you so much need.

Perhaps you’re wondering how we might assist. Based on your needs, each of our therapists use a variety of strong and efficient methods. Here are just a few illustrations of how we apply it.

Utilizing EMDR is one method for treating anxiety brought on by trauma. Even if it might be the cause of your anxiety, your mind and body both have the capacity to store trauma. You can frequently quickly relieve the pain of the trauma from your mind and body when we employ EMDR. With EMDR, we have witnessed incredible healing and often begin to see improvements after just two sessions.

The therapy known as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is another extremely effective treatment with a wide range of uses. CBT is a type of talk therapy that assists you in addressing issues by altering your thoughts and behaviors. This is beneficial for a variety of aspects of life, including anxiety, despair, and rage.

By assisting you in getting to know yourself so that you may lead yourself, we can also be of assistance. We assist you in becoming more conscious of how you are triggered and how anxiety affects your mind, body, and soul. Additionally, increased alternatives and power to alter your anxiety-related experiences come along with knowledge. We assist you in rewiring your negative neural connections and reframing them to be more positive. We do this in therapy so that you can lessen your anxiety when it is happening at the moments when you are experiencing it.

These are only a few of the methods in which we can assist you in overcoming your worries and anxiety. You and your needs determine how we can assist you. Instead of just listening from a chair, we’ll join you in telling your tale. When you ask for our assistance, we will fight for your best interests. When you visit New Vision Counseling and Consulting, your therapist will be there to encourage, support, and invite you to become the best version of yourself.

We can assist you if you found this useful and are looking for fresh, potent methods to lessen or get rid of worry. If you need assistance with anxiety or any other issue, please click the button or give us a call at (405) 921-7776. We are eager to meet you soon!