How to Stop Gaslighting: 7 Strategies from a Therapist

How to Stop Gaslighting: 7 Strategies from a Therapist

As a psychological word, “gaslighting” has been in use for some time. People have been able to name specific relationship dysfunctions thanks to the attention this term has received, and many now feel more confident in speaking their own truths. Even though they are aware of the expression and understand what it implies, many people nevertheless struggle to handle circumstances in which they are the ones being gaslighted. So let’s talk about how to protect your integrity and avoid being gaslighted:

1. Recognize gaslighting when you encounter it.

Typical terms used in gaslighting

“You’re inventing things,”
“That has never happened.”
“You’re being excessive,” I said.
“You’re overstating the case.”
When a person is gaslighted frequently, they start to show signs of low self-esteem and emotional reliance on the abuser. When you disagree with someone who is gaslighting you, you could experience a range of emotions, such as perplexity, rage, and irritation. You can also catch yourself having internal and external arguments. This back and forth is exhausting and could make you feel less confident.
Once you can correctly recognize gaslighting when it occurs in the present, you can start to break the cycle.

2. Hold fast to the truth.

The goal of gaslighting is to make the victim doubt their own reality. Your gaslighter may be trying to avoid taking responsibility while gradually instilling emotional dependence in you. This causes a tremendous lot of internal perplexity and lowers your self- and memory-confidence.

Maintain your integrity and take ownership of your viewpoint! Don’t let them influence how you feel about things. It has the same pronunciation as “I know what I saw.”

3. Commit actions to paper.

To keep your feet firmly planted in reality, it can be helpful to write things down as they happen. Keep a journal where you can write about your experiences. Make it a habit to read back through a few of your entries every day. A diary is an excellent tool for documenting happenings throughout time. Your belief in what you already know to be true will grow as a result of this.

4. Make the conversation brief.

Know your goals before you start the dialogue. What do you want to accomplish? Resolve? What do you want to be crystal clear about? When someone is gaslighting you, they will blatantly mislead, alter the narrative, and minimize your feelings. You may avoid becoming diverted by a gaslighter by having a clear understanding of your goals before you start the conversation.

5. Be ready to discontinue the exchange.

The gaslighter may also come up with techniques like minimization and diversion. In these circumstances, practice self-validation and be aware of when the talk starts to feel unfair or repetitive. Give yourself permission to leave the conversation as soon as you start to sense that your reality is being discounted.

Before the gaslighting gets worse, get away to preserve your ability to perceive what is happening. Remember that the gaslighter’s goal is to cause you to question reality.

6. Refrain from attempting to “outsmart” the gaslighter.

The best course of action when dealing with a gaslighter is to disengage. Even if you have a ton of evidence, such as videos, photos, and more, a gaslighting person will still find a way to deny, minimize, or ignore. It’s crucial to go with your reality intact.

7. Tell the truth and rely on your circle of allies.

The individual gaslighting you may be trying to isolate you psychologically and turn you into a dependent person if they have narcissistic personality disorder. When we share our reality, what is happening, what we know, and what we have seen, witnessed, and experienced with our support system, we further absorb our truth.


It can be quite unsettling to talk to someone who is gaslighting you. They go out of their way to upset you and change the subject so that you are now accused of “blowing things out of proportion, misunderstanding, being selfish..” when all you are doing is expressing your emotions and attempting to resolve the conflict.

Leaving the conversation is totally normal and frequently essential. By relying on your support network, reading books, and listening to podcasts on the difficulties you are dealing with with a gaslighter on a daily basis, you may find a lot of aid to stand in the truth. In order to live realistically and make wise decisions for your future, learn to extend yourself grace for what you are experiencing in the relationship and choose and acquire the support you need.

There is hope if you have found this useful but still require a someone who is capable, kind, and specially trained to assist. For your needs, New Vision Counseling is here. We are a group of skilled therapists who care about you and will meet you where you are in order to support your healing and forward motion. We’ll be by your side, encouraging you and helping you find the freedom and healing you strive for. The logical next step is to contact them by dialing (405) 921-7776.

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