THE STARTING

Your first few dates are easy to connect with and enjoyable. Once upon a time, your partner’s annoying habits were considered to be peculiar eccentricities rather than deal-breakers. Disagreements appeared less intimidating due to butterflies and chemistry, and it was simple to ignore your partner’s transgressions. But as soon as the novelty wears off, the things that once came naturally start to strain on your relationship. Another stage starts if you make the brave choice to accept a proposal. Every area of your life is momentarily taken over by the excitement of preparing your wedding. As you argue over flowers, try on outfits, and finalize the details for your big day, you are simultaneously overwhelmed with happiness and tension. Designing an ideal wedding is a popular pastime, but what about a dream marriage?

MARRIAGE

Marriage requires a lot of work and cannot be sustained without intention and effort. This is something that a lot of couples overlook, especially when they first get married. You make a lifetime commitment to your mate when you stand at the altar. It seems simple enough, no? What happens if the spark wanes and the partnership is strained by financial obligations, young children, and other everyday stressors? Although it may sound bad, this is a reality. Marriage takes place on days when we are ill, angry, and worn out. You can witness both the greatest and worst aspects of your partner. The cliched ratio of 50/50 comes to mind, yet for a marriage to last for good, each spouse needs to aim for 100/100. The three key components of a successful and long-lasting marriage are listed below.

BUILD TOGETHER

We develop, mature, and change as we move through the stages of life. What once made us happy might not do so any longer. Perhaps a significant event has shaken your foundation and altered your entire outlook. Or perhaps as you’ve matured, your viewpoints have changed. We all undergo change, whether it comes gradually or all at once. The requirements and preferences of our relationships will alter as we do. This means that for your marriage to flourish, you and your partner must develop together rather than separately. Although it may seem cliche, this idea is crucial for marriage, especially if you married young.

Couples that promise to constantly learn more about one another make for marriages that last a lifetime! Be sure to get to know your companion well. What do they like to do? What music do they like best, and why? What television shows do they enjoy? These are enjoyable activities that most people prioritize in the early stages of relationships, but over time, this tendency may gradually disappear. Stop it, please!

COMMUNICATION

One of the most crucial components of every relationship is communication, however this is frequently the area where couples have the greatest difficulty. It can be simple to assume that we know how our spouse is feeling or thinking after spending a lot of time together. As you continue to believe these things, intimacy and communication start to fade, leaving you and your partner with unfulfilled expectations. One of the quickest ways to ruin a relationship is to have these unmet expectations.

It might be challenging to recognize when your communication skills need improvement, particularly if you have developed bad behaviors that go back to infancy. Unfortunately, it is not unusual for people to have problematic family ties as children. The kind of home environment you grow up in has an impact on how you interact with people later in life. This implies that you might need to teach yourself how to use language properly again. Learn your partner’s preferred methods of communicating and how they interpret your communications. It’s also crucial to offer your partner a shoulder to cry on and an unbiased ear to listen with. It is simple to become preoccupied with responding that we lose sight of how to actually listen. Instead of responding when your spouse speaks, try to grasp what they are saying.

GOOD LUCK!

Adulthood comes with a ton of obligations and stress. You have responsibilities at work, debts to pay, and kids to take care of. The state of your marriage may suffer as a result, and these may take precedence in your life. The romance will gradually fade away if you don’t make it a point to date your spouse. Keep in mind what it was like to actually appreciate and have fun with one another. For a solid and enduring relationship, scheduling date nights and time alone with your spouse is essential. Since they will be your lifelong companion, learn to have fun and appreciate every moment of it. Don’t take things too seriously, and put your marriage first. Maintaining closeness and intimacy might make the rest of life feel less demanding.

NEXT ACTIONS

Marriage is difficult! A marriage must possess these qualities in order to endure for a lifetime: compassion, selflessness, and tenacity. I like to remind people that they’re probably doing marriage incorrectly if it sounds simple. It can be challenging to navigate the shifting tides of life and relationships. We take great satisfaction in having therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting that are family and relationship-focused. We want your spouse to be by your side as you live the life you want. We offer the resources to assist you, whether you’re trying to develop healthy communication skills or heal a significant wound. We are the place for you if you want to learn healthy marriage behaviors or simply want to better understand your partner. Dial (405) 921-7776 to reach us.